So I spent a lot of time over the last year thinking, What exactly would I want someone to be Aware of when it comes to Autism? How can I be helpful to people who feel helpless and weird around autism? So I put together a list of what came to mind, and posted it on Facebook. The response took me by surprise--incredibly supportive, and even asking for more. Here is the list I posted:
* * * * *
1.) "If you've met one autistic kid, you've met one autistic kid." Kids on the spectrum look vastly different, so it's okay to feel like you don't know what autism actually is, and no one expects you to know everything about it. Most of the time, you're going to notice that someone is quirky, sometimes awkward, different.
2.) If you think your kid might fall on the spectrum (or have a similar disorder), don't be afraid to go find out. A diagnosis is not a stigma in my experience. It's the gateway to answers and the kind of help you didn't even know you needed. And it's not a death sentence. I've found more joy than I ever expected because of the things we've had to work through. Also, early intervention is the key to progressive awesomeness.
3.) If you don't know what to say to parents about their kid, say, "tell me more about your experience sometime." It's tempting to say, "Oh, all kids go through x (insert here: tantrum, low filter, awkwardness, struggle)," to try to make them not feel so different, but understand that it actually minimizes their struggle and makes a parent feel like they are just whining.
4.) Speaking of tantrums, understand that a typical tantrum and a meltdown look the same, but are as different as mud and chocolate. An autistic meltdown is very complicated in origin and resolution. I'll tell you more about it if you're interested.
5.) If you don't know how to contrast an autistic kid from other kids, use the word "typical" kid. I know you feel bad when you say "normal." I say it too and I feel bad too.
6.) Causes of autism are still being studied and could be a combination of genetics, gestation and other factors. But it's really, really clear now that vaccines do not cause autism.
7.) The rise in autism diagnoses in more recent years has way more to do with Austria, Hitler and the 80's than any other factor. That's also another great story for another time.
8.) Because autism is a neurological disorder, not a disease, there is not a "cure," but rather a multi-faceted approach to help an autistic child learn healthy coping and compensating strategies.
9.) Sometimes it is just HARD to be a parent of a kid on the spectrum. It's super hard to explain why sometimes, too, but it is mentally taxing, emotionally straining, and you don't know how to help your kid without losing your mind. Sometimes, for really long stretches, it seems like you're going backward and every single option is the wrong decision. And it feels like everyone thinks you are just a really sucky parent.
10.) Because of the incredible amount of work you have to put in to understand your kid, you have the opportunity to be come close to your child in a way you may never have had otherwise, and you find a person so beautifully and wonderfully made that it continues to astonish you.
So. I'll be straight with you. Autism sucks. It's a neurological disorder, or rather several disorders working together. It makes life very difficult to navigate. But everyone has something difficult in their life, and this is our difficult thing. We have seen God work in and through it in ways we could never have expected or known to ask for, and seen his goodness in sharp focus. So there you go, friends, now you are Aware! Have a great April 2!
No comments:
Post a Comment